Friday, March 9, 2007

She Da Queen

So yesterday was women's day and I’ll be absolutely honest after all these years of big hype....why did I feel so special, whole and complete yesterday?

We had women's day last year and the year before that too and even the year before that......if you get my drift.

Well I’ll tell you why… because I’m 27 years old and this year I’ve finally become a woman. This year, I’m whole because even my spiritual body has finally come in sync with my emotional, physical, intellectual and materialistic self.

Today i realized that I cannot exist as an island or an island group i need every form of me to co exist to complete the perfect me.

I don’t make sense do i?

Ok let’s see if this makes sense….. My journey started from the day I was born. I had problems from the day I learn to speak. I mean you’d wonder how much can the first words such as baba and dada get a kid into so much trouble…well I did… I mean not because I spoke gibberish, but, more because I did a lot of things that I was not supposed to. My only defense is… how will, I know, I’m not supposed to do something unless I did it myself.

I was trouble at 5.
Physically un-coordinated and verbally challenged.

I was big trouble at 10.
Physically hyperactive.
Spiritually….duh ? what?

I was big, big trouble at 15.
Verbally termed as loud, smart mouthed and mentally challenged because I went through a disease called “deliberately obtuse” and a viral infection called “teenaged stupidity”.
Spiritually rebellious and a cast off from community.

I was big, big, big trouble at 20.
Physically, I was mammoth shaped and I had a perfect figure that resembled the globe.
Spiritually confused.
An embarrassment to the community.
Mentally totally unaware on the realities of life.
Verbally did not have any problems except for the problem of putting breaks on my verbal abilities.

At 25 I was on a mass destruction path.
I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually broken, depressed and suicidal.
Physically I was loosing weight and gaining twice as much.
I had a broken engagement.
I was on a verge of becoming a god hater.


Now ah!! I’m inching towards 30.
For once i've cast away society and not the other way around.
I love it.
I’m confident.
I’m loved.
I’ve made it in my career.
I’m spiritually whole.
I’m learning to love my physical positives and negatives.
I’ve matured.
I’ve got confidence in myself.
I feel whole and beautiful inside out.
I’m a friend.
I’m a sister.
I’m a daughter.
I’m an aunt.
I’m a teacher.
I want to be a mother someday too.
I’m queen for now.
But above all I’m a woman.

4 comments:

blitzlion said...

way to go lady.... ur alll that and more... but im still wondering as to where do you get that magnetic charm of attracting the pits of society...

Anonymous said...

I'm a little confused on the "I'm matured" bit. Hahaha...kidding. Nice one!

I hope becoming a wife will precede the desire to become a mother. :p
Keep writing.

Pat said...

Hey Sapna, got to read your blogs!
They were all good, but this one was the best... very well written. I could relate myself to this one, maybe not entirely. All the same, it made me feel emotional about the journey i've been through. Man, I love it!

claytonia vices said...

You've come a long way :)